From Dusk Till Dawn: Embracing the Inevitable

 In the midst of your chest, a pang of pain arises when you realize your home is too cramped to contain you. You're propelled into the narrow streets, mirroring the tightening of your heart. Neither the azure sea nor the radiant sky can lift your spirits. You grow too large to carry your own weight, yet too small to vanish. Someone keeps offering advice: "Your health is paramount. Cherish being alive. Let go; everything fades with time." Yet, these words fall on deaf ears. Your tears render you invisible. You vacillate between hating them so intensely that you wish for their demise, and loving them so deeply that they become a sanctuary. You yearn to discuss it endlessly, refusing to hear affirmations like "There's a cure for death" or "The apocalypse is imminent." You crave solitude but find no solace in it, wishing to get lost in crowds. Reflecting on the past becomes a compulsion, minute by minute, skipping over the villains. You desire to revisit places with them, to tread the familiar paths, even though it may not be beneficial. When offered relief from pain, you instinctively run, for the pain is a tether to your freedom. Thoughts of death become unbearable, and dreams cling to reality upon waking. Sleep eludes you, and the prospect of the morning is daunting. Sometimes, you yearn for a sun that never rises. Nights and days alike offer no comfort. The desire for death lingers, yet it remains elusive. You may even want to embrace someone with a towel, the nail pulling against the wood. In these moments, the overwhelming feeling of fading away becomes poignant. Thoughts meander to the lost moments of saved time, contemplating the fleeting nature of existence. Unpacking a cigarette, you find that it's insufficient; you persist, living for the price of each moment.