Unraveled Emotions: A Morning Story.

 This morning, I awoke in disarray, a tangled mess of emotions and disconnection. The mirror remained untouched, devoid of makeup, my hair uncombed, and my medicine forgotten. I hastily donned the first set of clothes I could find and dragged myself to work. Every little thing seemed to prick at me, from the smiles of passersby to the sight of couples holding hands. Even the songs on the radio and the incessant ringing of my phone felt like an intrusion.

I couldn't even bear to gaze upon the face of my favorite comfort food, opting instead to chain-smoke, seeking solace in the bitter taste of nicotine. A lump formed in my throat, a sensation I couldn't quite swallow. It was as if there was a leak in my heart, a persistent tightness that left me feeling like I didn't quite belong anywhere.

Without a clear destination in mind, I took to the road, as if the path itself would reveal the way. To my surprise, it led me to the very streets where my childhood had unfolded. I sat down on a familiar curb and lit a cigarette, lost in the depths of my thoughts.

As if to compound the misery of the morning, I managed to break a toenail, a seemingly inconsequential event that reduced me to sobs. In my despair, I poured my heart out to the damaged toenail, wondering why it had to break when I had already given it so much care. It wasn't enough, I swore, and I screamed it into the unforgiving void.

There was an earthquake within me this morning, one that went unnoticed by the world but left my inner landscape shaken. And as the day wore on, I found myself in a car wreck, miraculously emerging with my life intact but my faith shattered. This morning marked the end of five years spent with him, a relationship that I could no longer cling to.

From this day forward, I promised myself that even if a nail broke, I would turn to her for answers and solace, for she was the only one who understood the depth of my pain.